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The Pandemic is the Perfect Time for Men to Embrace 'Breadsharing' Instead of Breadwi
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The Pandemic is the Perfect Time for Men to Embrace 'Breadsharing' Instead of Breadwinning
[Image: dad_work_from_home.jpg?itok=o4U3RIwa&fc=50,50]
Moms shouldn't be the only ones juggling work and childcare right now.
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The new coronavirus is forcing working parents to revisit how they manage household and childcare responsibilities—with implications that could last beyond the current pandemic.
A recent national survey found that 66 percent of parents facing school or daycare closures say their life has been disrupted. Whether you are also looking after elderly parents, caring for school children or leading household maintenance, managing the integration of work and home life has never been more challenging. And it’s falling disproportionately on women, who remain the default caretaker, teacher and chef, regardless of whether they also have a job. Traditional gender roles are not sustainable for a shutdown. Sharing the breadwinner and caretaker roles equally instead of dividing them is the key to surviving the pandemic. Building greater equality at home will also pay off when we’re back in the workplace. If we want more women in leadership positions, we need to share the load at home and finally let go of the belief that women’s careers are somehow expendable.







Revaluing women’s contributions also stands to benefit men. Research finds that men are better able to accommodate their dual identities—provider and parent—when their wives work, because they get to define success outside of the breadwinner role they are typically tasked with living up to. Sharing the burden to provide for their family frees men up to rethink their identity. It is often assumed that women are the only ones who struggle with “having it all,” or managing the dual identities associated with work and home life. But men struggle too by being denied the opportunities to explore who they are outside of work and become more than a financial provider. The current pandemic has forced working families to revisit how fairly tasks are allocated at home. This presents a bigger opportunity for each of us to reflect on how we value men and women in the workplace, and at home.
The greatest challenge men face in straying from the breadwinner role is the risk of losing their self-worth and social status. When men don’t work, they forgo their place in society because male identity is intrinsically linked to being able to provide. If they can no longer build their confidence through their work, men must find this somewhere else. Research investigating how men deal with job loss finds that not only do men carry a heavy financial and emotional strain when they are let go, but they also struggle with the sense that they are no longer real men. To realize the positive outcomes associated with gender equality, we need to change how we view men’s and women’s roles at home. These two roles are intrinsically linked. For example, men who viewed their spouse’s roles or careers as merely supportive of their own careers believed that their work and commitment to the organization was the No. 1 priority. However, men who prioritized their spouse’s careers were more egalitarian in their approach at home. By shifting from being breadwinners to breadsharers, men have an opportunity to have a more equitable household and redefine their identity outside of work.

This can be achieved in three ways. First it's important to make the invisible visible by clearly acknowledging what domestic and childcare responsibilities are required by your household. This can be as simple as writing down all the chores and clearly allocating ownership of the various tasks. What makes managing the role conflict particularly challenging for women is that the hours spent cooking, cleaning and providing emotional support to dependents simply goes unnoticed. Without acknowledging the mental load women carry, it is difficult to have an honest conversation about who is doing what. Once the tasks have been allocated, fairly, it’s important to own your activity from beginning to end. No dishes next to the dishwasher or laundry left on the bed for someone else to have to deal with. Having to ask or follow up on tasks can be just as stressful as doing it yourself. Finally, it is important to revalue women’s career ambitions and men’s identities outside of work. We need to create opportunities to explore our individual identities outside of prescribed gender roles. For men, this means treating women’s career ambitions as importantly as their own. For women, this means understanding men’s ambitions are not limited to the office. This is how we become breadsharers and carry the load of work and home life together.
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